Letter by an Alzheimer Patient - THE UN-LISTENED ALZHEIMER
Is there someone in your family with Alzheimer's disease. It's so unfortunate and difficult to accept when someone close doesn't remember you, and you know it will only get worse. Love towards them don't get less, but in this situation we become helpless. Shouldn't we listen to them, accept them as they are, kiss them on their forehead and give them love. We understand everything, yet we lose patience.
Son,
Neelam,
The best thing that happened to me was you, marrying you brought the real meaning in my life. I don't know what address should I write, to send it to you. You were here yesterday, and you are nowhere today. Everyone says you have gone far. Why didn't you tell me, or took me with you? Oh, do you want me to look after our family? We both can do that, come back. I don't have someone to talk with. Only our granddaughter plays with me sometimes. She's very smart, we both laugh together when I don't speak properly, you should come and see her. She takes care of me and talks to me. But Neelam, nothing feels the same without you. I feel like I m walking like an invisible person. You understand me the best. My son even doesn't understand me, he says things which I don't understand, and what I say, he doesn't care at all. I'll ask him again for your address, reply to me as soon as you get this. Waiting for you.
Still your hero.
See, this is the letter I was sending to your mother, and was asking you for her address. I couldn't send the letter, because you never gave me any address. What does this letter tell you? Son, that was my love and my illness. I understand how you must have felt when I was asking for the address of someone dead. You loved your mother very much, so was I, and still we both. It wasn't me, it was my condition not letting me understand the fact.
It's been a long time seeing you. I m writing this to you to say sorry for forgetting things, and not admitting. What can I do, that wasn't me, that was my illness. You were very calm all the time and tried to make me understand. Why did you give up on me, see I m all fine now. I have got much better. I won't ask you the same thing many times. I never disowned you when you're a kid and asked me same thing multiple times. Don't be impatient now. Anyway, I m not ill anymore. Take me from here. Where have you left me, these people call me Pa, Pa every day. I don't understand, why have you left me with these strangers. Just come and take me, I m much better. Take me sooner because these people I m living with, have got a really serious illness. They are misunderstanding me with someone else in their family. They don't give values to my words when I ask for you, or they don't have the senses to understand. Whatever I say, or shout they are always the same. There's a little girl, just like your daughter, who plays with me and takes care of me. She laughs at me when I am not able to speak properly. Take me and her back together. Sometimes I feel I m in an alien world, they don't listen to me, they say they are tired of me; I haven't asked for anything, but only to let me go. They don't let me go myself now. I have tried visiting you, I find some familiar places outside, but I don't remember the way from there, and I got myself lost. Sometimes I have really caused trouble for them. This won't be the case with you, take me back with you.
Your Father
I don't know how to tell my father that he's with me only and I m always with him. I m trying to give all the love I can, but he's in deep misery of not able to see me around.
Read Part 2 of the Story here.
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